ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize