That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
