I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
