Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
