nut hugger
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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