508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
