do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
