I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I need to sanitize my soul.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
