How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You're like the curious george of whores
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
