i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish my penis had an off switch
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
