a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You are the jesus of drinking
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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