You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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