He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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