sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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