your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
