were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
