literally had 100 drinks last night.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
