Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
