My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
