but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
