wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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