would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize