She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
