Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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