Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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