That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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