Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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