i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
