Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
