I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize