no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
