I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
