i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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