apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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