last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
