I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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