I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
