are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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