she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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