The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
