Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
that's an acceptable place to lick
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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