my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
