I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
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imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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