I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
