They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
