Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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