Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
