They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm going to jail i love you
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
