first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
