Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
