How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
