Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't think brook has ever known best
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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