Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
