We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
