I CAN MOONWALK!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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