He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize