His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize