Can i not drive my cunt home
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He felt like a one man threesome
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize