No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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