I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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