even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I checked into jail on foursquare
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
