hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
